


Maybe I'm the Wrong You Like

by JellyBeansandDreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 19:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5677189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JellyBeansandDreams/pseuds/JellyBeansandDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t supposed to end up the way it did.</p><p>Because the plan was for Niall to end up with Liam. </p><p>Not for Zayn to fall in love with Niall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe I'm the Wrong You Like

1.

 

It wasn’t supposed to end up the way it did.

He thought he could do it. Do his designated role and come out of it relatively unscathed. Thought he had enough self-discipline to go through with it, that he was stronger than this. But he isn’t. And he’s in so much trouble he contemplated getting out of town and living somewhere…not here. Maybe in the woods. Away from civilization. Yeah, he should totally live out the rest of his life as a hermit. He’d totally rock as a hermit because he’s brilliant like that.

Maybe he should just find out if Diagon Alley exists? So he’d go and live somewhere, maybe Hogsmeade, magical and forget about his life and how he’s so screwed up he was practically wishing Diagon Alley into existence.

Oh god. Zayn is losing his mind.

And he’s going to lose his friends too.

Because he screwed this up. They’re never going to forgive him. He is ruined for life and he should totally pack up and move at the bottom of the ocean.

He is going to lose Louis, the first friend he ever made in his entire life. His savior.   

 

_Zayn is in a new school, the third one this year and he’s still having a shit time. No matter where he ends up, kids were the same. They were mean and nasty because he’s different. He hates going to school. He’s always alone and scared and he doesn’t even have anyone to share his toys with. And no one wants to play the seesaw with him. He desperately wants to play the seesaw._

_One day, as he was being pushed around in the playground, something that was not supposed to happen, happened. Somebody(who isn’t him) tripped. Courtesy of a small foot that was deliberately extended with the intention of actually tripping one of the kids who just finished ‘playing’ with Zayn. and then another was shoved off and then he hears a threat (also not directed at him) that if anyone ever touches the weird kid (okay, that’s definitely him) again, will be sorry because “I own a shark, you assholes and I’d feed you to Bruce ‘cause he’s hungry all the time.”_

 

_And whoa. Apparently, these bullies are as big as they are dumb because they got rightfully mortified and ran away. Screaming._ _The kid turned to look at Zayn and smiled. A genuine smile. And then he held out his hand to help Zayn push himself up. Zayn smiled back. “Do you really own a shark?”_

_The kid smirked. “Of course I don’t. But I saw Jaws last night and it was wicked.”_

_“How’d you know the shark’s name is Bruce?”_

_“I don’t. I made the name up.”_

_“Well, the shark’s name is actually Bruce,” Zayn replied matter-of-factly._

_“How do you know that?”_

_“I know things.” When the kid just continued to stare at him, he elaborated. “I saw Jaws a while back and I thought it was good so I read some stuff about it and saw somewhere that the crew called the shark Bruce after someone’s lawyer.”_

_“Huh. You’re sort of geeky, aren’t you?” the kid said. And Zayn got worried that he just drove away the first person who could have been his friend. But before he could worry too much, the kid added, “That’s cool. My name’s Louis, by the way.”_

_No one’s ever called Zayn cool before and he was so happy he was almost preening. “I’m Zayn.”_

_“Do you want to go and play seesaw with me?”_

_Zayn was so delighted he was practically bouncing, “Race you there!”_

 

Liam will never forgive him. Liam. The kindest and most patient guy on the planet.

 

_Zayn is having massive problems with Maths. Because numbers and adding and dividing and multiplying and subtracting are okay, more than okay. Those are easy. But then complicated formulas that were birthed at Mars and problems that are beyond solving are giving him nightmares. He tries his best but he can never be as good with numbers as he is with words._

_And he was groaning and mumbling and cursing his Maths homework and he didn’t mean to be so loud but clearly he is because the next thing he knows, Liam the Maths genius is at his side, taking his book from under his elbows and is reading the problem he couldn’t, for the life of him, solve. And then Liam is teaching him and he’s actually a pretty amazing teacher because he’s kind and patient and doesn’t call Zayn stupid and the next thing he knows, Louis has smuggled food in the library and although Liam’s looking disapprovingly at him, he just smiled cheekily and offered him some as well. They spend the entire lunch hour in the library._

Harry will look at him accusingly. And Harry has never, in his life, seriously accused anyone of anything.

 

_Louis is running towards him, waving frantically. He stopped a feet away from Zayn as he tried to catch his breath. When he looked at Zayn, his eyes are fucking sparkling and Zayn didn’t even know it was possible for eyes to sparkle that much it was blinding._

_Whatever it is that Zayn thought was making his best friend’s eyes look like that, it wasn’t what came out of Louis’ mouth. “I just met my soul mate.”_

_What even is that? Louis is in a relationship with his soul mate. “You’ve been with Miranda six months, Lou.”_

_Louis went on like he hadn’t heard what Zayn just said. “He’s amazing. He’s tall and clumsy and his hair is everywhere and he has these amazing green eyes and…”_

_“Louis! Who are you talking about?”_

_When Louis dragged Zayn and Liam into a coffee shop to meet the mysterious soul mate a few days later, he wasn’t prepared to like Harry at all. Because, well, he is sort of the reason Louis broke up with Miranda and although he didn’t like her all that much, she wasn’t entirely evil._

_Zayn didn’t know that he wouldn’t be as immune to Harry’s charm as he initially thought he would because the kid is totally adorable and awkward and sweet and no wonder Louis’ in love._

 

It’s not like he meant for it to happen. Who in his right mind, would epically muck up an already mucked-up situation anyway? Zayn, obviously.

 

He groaned and paced around his room, worrying his already abused lips with thoughts running a thousand miles a minute. When he felt his head ache from all the fretting he’s not supposed to be doing if he stuck to the stupid plan, he sat on the edge of his bed and covered his face with his hands.

Because the plan was for Niall to end up with Liam.

Not for Zayn to fall in love with Niall and compromise the whole thing which, to be honest, Zayn thought was going to explode in their faces at some point in time because he just _knew_ that it was doomed to fail the moment his three well-meaning but (sometimes) idiotic best friends concocted it.

He was going to whack his friends senseless.

Right after he’s done whacking himself.

 

2.

 

Five minutes later Zayn found himself sprawled on his bed, his hands tucked behind his head. He took a deep breath, trying to come to terms with the fact that his fate, well, sucks.

He stared at his ceiling and wondered if his friends were just trying to screw with him or if this is how they decided to end the friendship they had going for nearly a decade now.

Which was just cruel, really. Because how is it that they came to a mutual decision that it has to be Zayn that gets booted out? And then he chastised himself further because now he’s just thinking pointless thoughts whatsoever. He tried to backtrack because he cannot just make his friends the villains here. It’s not like it’s their fault that he’s falling in deep shit and entangling himself in a web of inevitable pain.

Zayn thought some more—because when you lock yourself up in your room and decide to stay inside it for the foreseeable future, you have all the time in the world to think about all the things you didn’t think you needed to think about—and played a mental eeny-meeny-miny-moe like it was going to solve his problem if he could just blindly choose between his friends, Niall, his feelings, and his non-feelings.

He thought of Louis who forced him to be the one to help Liam in the latter’s lame attempt at wooing (because seriously, he hasn’t done any wooing yet). Louis who always gets what he wants not because he was obnoxious (okay, sometimes he is) but because he was driven and won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

He thought of Harry who’s as clumsy as he is adorable (and then there it goes again, thinking about things that he didn’t need to be thinking). Harry who’s always been there to support him and made him watch romantic comedy movies when Zayn broke up with James and who stayed the night just to make sure he’s not going to do something stupid like shave off all his hair because _Zayn, dude. I know you’re good looking and all but even I don’t think you’d pull off the bald look. Just don’t, okay? Don’t be stu—reckless._

He thought of _LouisandHarry_ and how they will always be the reason why he believes that love isn’t , shouldn’t be confined to societal mandates and that when it’s real, it transcends everything. Age. Race. Gender. He thought of how perfect they are for each other and, although he’d never be caught saying this out loud, how Zayn desperately wanted to find the Louis to his Harry or the Harry to his Louis.

He also thought of Liam, whom he really didn’t want to think about right now because of the possibility of _NiallandLiam_ and just ugh. But Liam is his friend and Liam wanted there to be a _NiallandLiam_ for real and Zayn agreed to it which brought him back to thinking about Louis. Who forced him to do this. And then to Harry, who forced Louis to force Zayn into this. He groaned.

When he finally was able to stop thinking about his friends because they aren’t even here and they’re still driving him absolutely mad, he thought about Niall.

Oh god. Where does he begin? He would gladly wax poetic about the blonde if he could. Well, technically, he could. But he wouldn’t. He cannot even allow himself to think about Niall in any way other than platonically because. Yeah.

But Niall. Everything about him makes Zayn’s heart swell with so much fucking feels. And because he wasn’t supposed to be feeling those feels at all, his poor heart crashed and burned. It figures that when he thinks he finally finds what he’s been wanting his whole damn life, he couldn’t have it. Sucky fate and all.

And what did they say about life again? _That you can’t always get what you want but you might find you get what you need or something along those lines_ , his subconscious supplied. And he mentally facepalmed because now he’s not just talking to himself. He’s talking to his subconscious which is kind of the same thing but then again, not really.

When he got over the fact that he might be on his way to a loony bin because talking this much to yourself cannot, in any way, be healthy, Zayn’s impeccable logic supplied him with the equation that if he couldn’t have what he wants, then he’s about to get what he needs. And apparently, what he needs is more pain in his life because that is the only thing that he’ll most likely be getting from this entire ordeal.

 _Because_.

The only reason he’s been allowed to meet Niall in the first place is because he…he’s supposed to bring him and Liam together. And isn’t that just freaking fantastic? Because up until about a couple of weeks ago, Zayn was effin’ sure that Liam’s straighter than a steel ruler. And now, all of a sudden, he’s gay and wants to be with Niall and enlists Zayn’s help to make it happen and Zayn just wants to drop dead right now because He. Can’t. Possibly. Do. This.

He loves Liam. He swears he does. But how can the guy just throw away what he has with Dani and decide that he wants what Harry and Louis has? And while Zayn has been continuously puking unicorns and puppies whenever HarryandLouis are in the vicinity, he’s secretly very happy that they finally ended everyone’s misery and figured out they were meant to be together. And Liam and Dani…they just fit. And though he’ll never admit to it, Zayn’s content to just sit in the corner every time they’re all together and bask in the love that’s emanating from all his friends.

He wonders if he could still enjoy basking in that same love now.

Meh. He didn’t think anyone would enjoy watching the person they’re (most probably) in love with canoodling with someone else. Unless they’re masochists which he isn’t.

So.

 

3.

 

_Several weeks ago…_

Zayn met Niall three days after Liam called him and the couple to his flat to announce that he’d broken up with his girlfriend because it just wasn’t working out anymore.

“How is that possible, Li? The last time I saw you, you were very much in love with her,” was all Zayn could say. Because the last time he saw Liam was just a little more than a week ago. He couldn’t possibly go from smitten to not working out anymore in the span of a week now, could he?

“A lot can happen in a few days, Zayn. It’s not like I wanted to not feel anything anymore. I just…changed.”

“Change how, Liam? And how the hell can you do that to Dani?! You’ve been together years. YEARS!” Zayn couldn’t contain himself. He liked Dani very much. She’s the perfect combination of sweet and strong and talented. Also, she loves his friend. For Liam to hurt her and dump her just like that, it was unacceptable and out of character.

Out of character. Come to think of it, Liam is acting strange. First, he isn’t crying. Actually, he isn’t even sad about the whole thing. Second, he’s not even flinching that he’s being a total douche about breaking up with Dani. And Liam is not like that. Not at all. So, naturally, there’s something going on.

“Alright, out with it, Li,” he said as looked at his friend in an angry squint.

“Out with what?” Liam asked, a little too innocently.

“You’re hiding something. I’m sure of it. Now, spill.”

“I just broke up with someone, Zayn. Give me a break. I’m not exactly ready to talk about it yet,” he said, now a little bit mad.

Louis sighed from where he was seated and looked sternly at both of them. “Okay, kids. That’s enough for one day,” he turned to Liam, “we’re sorry to hear about what happened, Li.”

“At least someone’s actually feeling sorry for me,” he muttered. He turned to his friend, “Thanks, Lou.”

“I’m still not satisfied, Liam,” Zayn insisted.

“You think too much, Z,” Harry piped up. “Liam said he’ll talk when he’s ready.”

“How come you two aren’t standing up for Dani? We like her,” Zayn said.

“Rightly so. And it’s not that we aren’t standing up for her—” Louis said.

“It’s just, we don’t know the whole story,” Harry finished.

“Exactly,” Louis said as he proudly beamed at his boyfriend like he just did something perfectly.

“Finishing each other’s sentences isn’t cute,” Zayn said bitterly. God. He wished someone would finish his sentences too. He scowled at his friends but otherwise dropped the subject. He figured he’ll find his answers soon enough.

Louis just raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at his comment while Harry cleared his throat, “Okay. Now that that’s cleared up, we should uh…comfort Liam.”

It turned out that comforting Liam meant watching kid movies—like his favorite the Toy Story trilogy and Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc.—and eating popcorn and drinking soda that left Zayn feeling like he was in some pyjama party…for seven-year olds.

Not that it wasn’t fun. Hanging out with his best friends has always been the highlight of his week. But the general lack of oppressive atmosphere bothered him. Because shouldn’t break ups involve alcohol (which, okay. Liam doesn’t drink) or tears or fists or shouting or random flying (like bottles or shoes or electronic gadgets) and crashing (like lamps) objects?

 

 

4.

 

He found out the reason a few days later. Or, at least he thought he did.

He wished he could have responded in a more composed manner but nothing could have prepared him for the most shocking news he received in his life in… _ever._ So he figured that the cold coffee that he subsequently choked on and the little amount that he spat right onto Louis’ shirt was totally justifiable.

“Since when are you _gay_ , Liam?!” he said as Louis huffed indignantly and looked furiously at him. Harry stood up and went to get tissue from the counter so he could console his seething boyfriend by attempting to wipe the stain off.

“Since a few weeks ago, Zayn.”

Zayn had questions running in his mind a thousand miles a minute. _How is that possible? How devastated was Dani? How the fuck could you even do it to her? What made you suddenly decide you’re gay? Why only now? How could you be so sure? Who actually brought this on? Am I the only one who doesn’t know? I want to beat you so bad right now because…Dani_ (so that last wayward thought wasn’t exactly a question but still. He likes Dani.)

Instead what came out was, “Why aren’t these two the least bit surprised?” he said as he pointed an accusing finger at the couple sitting in front of him. Louis seemed to forget he was mad at Zayn as his expression turned smug. “Me and Haz, we have perfectly cutting-edge gaydar.”

“Why am I only finding this out now?”

“Because your gaydar has an apparent glitch?” Louis said the same time Harry responded with, “because Liam needs your help.”

Zayn decided to ignore Louis’ comment as he cocked his head and raised an inquiring eyebrow at Liam.

Liam took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “There’s this guy…yeah. He…well.” he trailed off.

When it seemed like he wasn’t planning on finishing that sentence in the next few centuries or so, Zayn just continued staring at him while Harry looked on, looking a bit uncomfortable. Louis pinched his nose and closed his eyes indicating that he was getting impatient and probably thinking how in the world he ended up with such morons. When he opened them, he glared at Liam and kicked his leg.

“Ow. Jeez, Lou. Fine, alright…” he held his hands up in surrender as Louis continued to glare at him. “There’s this guy. His name’s Niall and…and I need your help to get us together.”

Zayn needed to have his ears checked. He’s sure of it because he couldn’t have been hearing things right since this conversation started. First, Liam’s gay. And now, he needs Zayn’s help to pursue someone?

“Whoa. Hold up, Li. What? Why me? And why the fuck do you need help? You never needed one before.”

“Because uh…” Liam looked at Louis, trying to desperately communicate that _I need help._

“Because, obviously, Liam’s new at this. He wouldn’t know how to work around it, Zayn. And really, would you refuse to help a dear friend in need? What kind of friend will that make you?” Louis asked pointedly.

Louis had a point, actually. Although it was the kind that didn’t necessarily make sense (because, hello, Zayn’s pretty new at this too so he himself wouldn’t have an idea how to work around it. Actually, he’s never helped anyone end up with someone else) but was a point all the same. “Why is it me who has to do it? What kind of help do you expect, anyway? And how come you two seem to know about all this already?” he asked. He was still suspicious of the whole thing.

A little while later, he was still trying to wrap his head around the barrage of information his friends threw at him. From: _I never really realized something was missing in my relationship with Dani since I met Niall. He’s wonderful and it’s just hard not to be happy when he’s around._ (Liam)

And: _Haz actually volunteered to be the uh…wingman but I wouldn’t let him. See, Niall’s a bit dangerous. Not hoodlum dangerous, obviously. It’s just, when you get to know him really well you could be in danger of falling in love with him and I really like him and I wouldn’t want to murder him when Hazza leaves me for him._ (Louis)

To: _You’re the only one who can do it because well, you aren’t with anyone. And we know you wouldn’t actually try and steal him from Liam. Like. Like you just aren’t the type, Z. And I think you need a little more sunshine in your life and Niall’s exactly that. We’ve been friends for a while and I know you’d be good friends with him too._ (Harry)

When Zayn excused himself half an hour later because the whole conversation just about gave him the mother of all headaches, his exasperated response to his friends’ adamant request was _give me a few days to ponder on it. Jesus. Dumping all these on me in one go._

 

_5._

After Zayn left, the three friends were left to stare at the space he vacated just seconds ago.

 

It was Liam who broke the silence minutes later. “Did we fail? You think he’s going to actually refuse?”

“He can’t. I’ll make sure he doesn’t.”

“But what if he does, Lou?” Liam insisted.

“We’ll just have to persuade him to do it. There isn’t a plan B, Li. We can’t let him walk away. Not without giving it a chance.”

“Well maybe we should have a plan B?” Liam asked.

Louis bit his lip as he racked his brain for a plan B. Fifteen seconds later, he held up both hands to declare, “I got nothin’” and stare at Liam like the latter might spout a plan B. Liam shrugged and looked to Harry for help.

“Err. Don’t look at me. I go for plan A,” he said.

“Plan A’s all we’ve got, love,” Louis said as he smiled at him.

 

*&*

As he sat on his couch sipping a sorry excuse for a coffee, Liam wondered how he could have agreed to such an insane plan it was practically just waiting to explode on their scheming faces. It’s not like he didn’t want his friend to be happy because, more than anything, Zayn deserved to be happy. He was just lamenting the fact that they could not do it the normal way (i.e. introduce the two).

He sighed. They needed an insane plan precisely because Zayn wouldn’t agree otherwise. Liam just desperately hoped that it will somehow work out and nobody has to end up with his heart in the gutter.

 

6.

 

There was no way he’d do it.

 _No way. No way. No way._ was the track that kept ringing in his head as Zayn headed home. Much as he loves Liam, the idea of putting himself out like that just isn’t sitting well with him. They want him to be the wingman. The bridge. What sort of an absurd idea is that anyway?

Liam may be scared, he knows. But, heck, Zayn is scared too. And he isn’t even the one who just figured out ten seconds ago that he’s gay and already falling for someone. But he knows he isn’t the right person to do that kind of thing for Liam. Sure, he’d be willing to help any other way, just not with this. Because, yes, he is a little sad and a lot mopey since he and James broke up…but that doesn’t mean that he’s looking for the sun to shine in his life again. He isn’t.

And if what Harry said was true, that Niall was sunshine and daisies personified, then Zayn doesn’t want anything to do with him because he’s fine the way he is right now. And the sunshine-and-daisies kind of people always gets him in trouble. Like James.

James who brought Zayn out of his dark and broody self.James who always saw the positive side of things. James who understood him when no one else could (aside from his three friends but he isn’t counting them right now). James who…eventually broke his heart because _you aren’t the same Zayn I fell in love with._ Which Zayn translated as, _you aren’t the bad boy I was attracted to anymore._

The next thing he knew, he was either spending countless hours in front of the telly, pretending to watch whatever’s on while simultaneously drowning his liver in alcohol until Liam had had enough and dragged him into his flat one day and gave him a lecture he wouldn’t remember even if he was sober.

This was followed by days of endless movie nights with Harry and afternoon tea sessions with Louis.

After a while, Zayn realized that the depression he experienced wasn’t because James left him. At least, it was not the only reason. It actually was the dreadful realization that he wouldn’t have anyone to share his days with because Liam has Dani and Louis and Harry have each other and Zayn…didn’t have anyone anymore.

But as they, sort of, took turns looking after him after that terrible episode of his life, Zayn also realized one thing: that no matter what happens, or where life brings them, his friends would never abandon him and each other.

Which meant that, even if Zayn would have to say no to Liam in the morning regarding Niall, Liam would still forgive him. He’ll just have to think of how to get out of it.

That night, secure in the knowledge that he’ll somehow convince Liam to not let him be involved in the wooing of one Niall Horan, Zayn got ready for bed. 

 

7.

“Enough already! I’ll do it, okay? I’ll do it.” It was three days later and Zayn’s ears were about to fall off from the irritation and radiation or whatever electromagnetic shockwave shit he’s been exposed to, courtesy of his phone, from Louis’ insistent calling and pleading and threatening. And frankly, the damage it was causing his brain (he couldn’t even sleep at night anymore what with Lou’s voice echoing in his head throughout the night) just isn’t worth the refusal anymore. 

“Swear on your quiff, Zayn.”  
“What the actual fuck, Lou?”  
“Just bloody swear on your quiff!” Louis shouted.  
“Fine. I swear…on my quiff,” Zayn relented. This is bloody stupid, he thought.  
“Great. Knew you’ll come around eventually, Z. Meet Harry at the park by the uni today after his class. He’ll call you.”  
“What about Liam?”  
“He already knows Niall. Haz will introduce you to him. Besides, Li doesn’t want to be around Niall too much. He thinks it’ll be too obvious that he likes him.”  
“But isn’t that the whole point?”  
“Jesus, Zayn. Look, Liam just wants to make sure that if he makes a move, that Niall wouldn’t flat out reject him. So you befriend the kid, build Liam’s image somehow, and make Niall interested.”  
“So, I’m like a salesman? I’m going to sell Liam to this Niall?”  
“Exactly. You have to make sure he’s going to buy, okay? Now, I have to get back to work. Let me know how it goes, yeah?”  
“Yeah, Lou,” Zayn said as he ended the call and stared at his phone accusingly. He should have thrown it away the moment Louis decided to torture him with endless phone calls. And then maybe he wouldn’t have to go through this…this…will-be-awkward situation he was sure he just agreed to. 

 

*&* 

Three days.  
It took three effin’ days to crack Zayn. Louis didn’t think it would be this difficult because he almost always gets the result he wants in a heartbeat. Or a blink. Whatever. The point is, he gets results as fast as he actually conjured the plans. He can therefore conclude that Zayn is an abomination and he loved the guy dearly, he does, but he can be amazingly frustrating and Louis just wants to slap the stubbornness out of him sometimes. He also contemplated on stabbing his friend’s neck with a pen and watch satisfactorily as the blood flowed in a trajectory. Give a new meaning to fountain pen and all.

It was a good thing he had Harry to stop him from becoming a mate-murderer. The constant soothing shoulder massage and the way he kisses his shoulders as he murmur words of gentle encouragement into Louis’ ears is enough fuel to keep him going. The spectacular nightly bout of sex helped a lot too. But more than anything, he wants to fix Zayn. Wants to see him smile and laugh and see his eyes shine again. Those warm, amber eyes that turned cold and dull and lifeless the day James ruined everything.

And suddenly, Louis had a fucking Plan B. If what they were planning didn’t work, he’d hunt down the miserable fuck who shattered his friend’s heart, cut his balls and dick off and feed them to starving piranhas. He’d probably land in jail, or the loony bin, for it but at least he’ll be comforted by the fact that he avenged his friend. 

Wonder if Haz would visit, he thought. And before he could even question the state of his sanity for taking Plan B too seriously, his phone rang, the tone indicating it was Harry. He shook his head and mentally berated himself for taking things a bit too far— even if it was only happening in his head—because he would, without a doubt, cut the balls of anyone who ever dared hurt his friends.

He swiped his screen and answered the call, “Haz, got good news, love,” he said.

 

8.

Four hours later, Zayn’s sitting on a park bench on an empty stomach because he couldn’t even eat. And why he couldn’t even eat, he has no clue at all. After all, it’s not like he’s going to be introduced to his future bride, or groom if he was being technical about it, but to Liam’s hopefully future technical groom.

If only he could tell the fluttering butterflies in his stomach to stop fluttering about because he has no business being nervous. Unless of course he’s channeling Liam’s supposed nervousness if he were the one who’s here right now. Okay, that doesn’t make a lot of sense but it’s all he’s got so he’s sticking to it.

Also, he couldn’t understand why he was having goosebumps because hello, he’s wearing a leather jacket and the weather isn’t unforgivingly chilly. Nonetheless, it couldn’t hurt if he’d light a fag to keep him warm and occupied while he wait. 

For someone he really would rather not meet.

Damnit. What the hell has he gotten himself into this time anyway? How could he have let himself be bullied into this helping Liam get the man of his dreams thing? Oh. Right. Because Louis is a conniving bully who bullies his bully-able friends into doing his bidding. 

Four hours later, Zayn’s sitting on a park bench feeling, knowing, he shouldn’t be here and that he should probably go. Only, the thought of the repercussions of actually leaving before he even met Niall made him cringe. 

Liam would be disappointed; Harry will keep giving him the puppy-dog eyes that will haunt him for days and Louis will rip his throat out and feed it to the grinder.

He was about to light a fag, to help dispel his nerves, when he saw a mop of curls among the sudden surge of uni students. Must be dismissal time for most of them.He replaced the stick in its box and when he looked up, there was Harry, looking down on him. 

Not that he noticed though.  
Because beside Harry is the single most striking person Zayn has ever seen in his life. Fuck me.  
Harry cleared his throat, “Erm. Nobody’s fucking anyone, Zayn.” The blonde beside Harry bit his lip in an attempt to reign in his laugh but his blue eyes were twinkling in amusement. Zayn winced. He did not just say that out loud. But, yes, he just did.  
“That did not come out right. M’sorry.” He looked at the blonde and swallowed the pool of saliva that gathered in his mouth before it could do some serious damage like choke him or become drool.  
“No worries. Apology accepted, mate.” Was that…Irish accent? Zayn felt the saliva he just swallowed come back up, full force. Because the guy had to be Irish on top of being so goddamned good-looking? Seriously, if he wasn’t gay already, he would be turning into one now. No wonder Liam’s smitten.  
“So, Zayn, meet Niall. And, Niall, this is Zayn. I’m sorry that he’s rude. He isn’t usually. I don’t know why he picked today out of all days…” Harry said. Zayn wanted to defend himself but when he looked at his friend, Harry was smirking and obviously just as amused as Niall.  
“S’okay, Haz. He’s not being rude at all. Nice to finally meet you, Zayn.” Niall said as he smiled at Zayn. And Zayn just about died on the spot because holy guacamole, that megawatt smile can bring a man to his knees.  
“You too, Niall.” He stood up to shake the blonde’s hand and when he did, he felt the proverbial tingling all over.

“Well, come on. Let’s go grab some bite to eat, yeah?” Niall asked.  
And Zayn could only nod his head in response because his vocal chords just took a vacation at Smittenia, the land of forgotten voices and neglected brain cells.

“Zayn, mate, let’s go,” Harry said when Zayn didn’t move an inch after agreeing on getting some food.

9.

“…the next thing I know, it’s morning and I’m lying beside this girl on someone’s dining table, of all places, my shirt and one shoe nowhere to be found. The guy’s parents came back and we all had to run fast before they can call the police on us. So I ran all the way home, without a shirt and missing a shoe and people were staring at me like I’m some lunatic who escaped from a mental facility,” Niall finished. He was recounting the first time he got so drank he couldn’t remember what exactly he did while he was drunk.

Zayn was listening attentively. He’s been listening to all the things Niall has been saying for the past hour and really, he could be reciting the entire table of elements and Zayn would still be fascinated. 

“So, enough about me and my misadventures.” Niall turned to Zayn and asked, “So Zayn, what do you do?”  
“I uh…I guess I can be considered an…artist.”  
“What sort of artist?”  
“He’s a tattoo artist, Ni,” Harry said.  
“Oh. Ehm, I guess that explains why you got a lot then, Zayn. Also, is that why you got a lot, Haz? And Louis and even Liam,” Niall inquired.  
“Well, we were Zayn’s first victims,” Harry answered and then stuck his tongue out to Zayn who was giving him a stink eye. “Also, we kind of became his portfolio and walking advertisement. Me at the school. And Louis and Liam at work.”  
“You mean those girls and guys at the campus who are suddenly sporting tattoo…those are all Zayn’s work?”  
“Yup. Zayn’s making tons of money out of my free advertising. Plus, when they see his pretty face, they all line up to get one anyway so they can ask him out after.”  
Zayn smacked Harry as he replied, “I probably wasn’t responsible for all the tattooed people you’ve seen at school, Niall. There’s a bunch of us at the shop and unless they specifically request for someone, anyone can work on whoever. And they don’t ask me out after.”  
“Pff. Of course they do,” Harry quipped as Niall asked, “Oh. Do you like your job then?”  
Zayn ignored Harry and said to Niall, “I love it, actually. I’m planning on opening my own once I save enough money.”  
“That’s brilliant, Zayn,” Niall said, awed. “You’re amazing.”  
And Zayn blushed as his voice and brain cells, once again, wandered off to Smittenia.

Just as they were discussing the finer points of Fight Club, one of the most brilliant action movies of all time according to Harry, but is technically a drama and thriller according to Zayn, Louis came in. Harry’s smile, when he spotted his boyfriend, could have lit up the entire place.

Louis came over to where they are and sat beside his boyfriend. “Hey, love. Having a good time?” he asked as he kissed the curly haired lad’s cheek.  
“Yeah. And it just got better now that you’re here.”  
“Ugh, you two are just too cute. I can’t even…” Niall teased.  
“Cute?” Zayn asked. “They are appallingly adorable,” he said while sporting a teasing smile.  
Niall laughed as Harry glared at them (not that his glares petrify anyone). Louis shook his head and stood to order some dinner. Niall came with him to order more food for himself.

“He’s got an appetite.” Zayn remarked.  
“Yep. That he does.”  
“Him and Liam, huh?” he asked, and already he regretted bringing it up. It caused his chest to constrict painfully.  
Harry studied him for a while. “Zayn…”  
Before Harry can say what he’s about to say though, Zayn beat him to it, “I’ll help them. Best as I can. I swear, Haz.”  
“Actually, Zayn. It’s not…it isn’t really, well—“  
“I’m getting some water. Want some?” Zayn asked. He really didn’t want to hear what Harry has to say because he doubts it’s going to make this easier for him. God. He’s known Niall for all of two hours and already, he knows his life is going to get a lot less simple and a lot more complicated.

 

10.

“So, are we too late? Who is this Blake person that I’m going to stab to death, Hazza?”  
“I don’t actually think we are, Lou. And you are not murdering Blake. He’s this guy who’s been pestering Niall for a while although I’m sure Niall doesn’t like him.”

It was later that night and Louis and Harry are in their flat discussing the progress of their plan.

“Then why did you say we might be too late?”  
“Nialler agreed to go on a lunch date with him. Today. It was ongoing ‘bout the time you phoned.”  
“What happened?”  
“Didn’t even last half an hour. Niall left after he got tired of hearing about Blake’s twenty millionth remarkable remarkableness.”  
“Some stuck-up bugger, huh?”  
“Yep. So, there’s nothing to worry about,” Harry said as he nuzzled his nose into Louis’ neck. “What do you say we stop talking and sleep, love? M’tired.”

 

11.

The next day, Liam was leaning on Harry and Louis’ kitchen counter sipping coffee as Harry, who was busy preparing pancakes and eggs and bacon for Louis, recounts what happened yesterday.

“So, it’s a success?” Liam asked as Harry gestured for him to sit and placed a plate of breakfast in front of him.  
“By the looks of it,” was all the curly-haired lad said.  
“Well, what do you think should happen next?”  
“Dunno. Let them spend some time together? I mean, they just met. We couldn’t just push at ‘em.”  
“Yeah.”

Harry finished cooking just as Louis came in and sat down for breakfast. 

They talked about Zayn and Niall some more as well as other things, like work (for Louis and Liam) and school (for Harry).

“You should invite Niall for that movie we’re going to see, Hazza. I got an extra ticket.”  
“Don’t you only have four?”  
“Yeah. But Liam here can’t make it anymore,” he said as he sipped the tea Harry made for him.  
Liam’s eyes almost bulged out of its sockets at this revelation. “Hey! Since when couldn’t I make it? We’ve had it planned for a week!”  
“Since I’m going to be getting you another pair. You can watch it with Dani. We need to get those two to spend time together.”  
“Right. Okay,” Liam consented. “As long as you promise to get me tickets.”

 

12.

“Wicked. That’s really kind, Haz. But, are you sure?” They were on their way to the library for a research that they have put off long enough and Harry just asked Niall to the movies.  
Harry nodded. “Yeah. At least Zayn won’t whine about being the third wheel or something. You okay with that?”  
“With what?”  
“With Zayn coming along.”  
“’Course I am. He’s…wickedly cool,” Niall said, all the while sporting a big smile.  
Harry looked at his friend and teased, “Do you like him, Nialler?”  
Niall nodded, “Sure I do.”  
“Like like?”  
He laughed. “I just met him.”

 

13.

The movie was as good as the reviews promised it would be. At least, Zayn thinks so. If the audience’s reactions were anything to go by, that is. 

He tried to focus on the movie. Goodness knows how much he’s been looking forward to it since he’s seen the trailer and it’s one of his favorite books, too. The thing is, he didn’t count Niall into the equation when he decided he’d watch the movie a few months back. Niall wasn’t even in the equation yet when Louis said he snagged four tickets last week. 

But, here he is. Seated beside the blonde. And he couldn’t quite concentrate on the movie and he honestly wanted to but Niall is so much nicer to look at and he didn’t want to be a cad so he’s focusing all his energy on not looking at Niall while pretending to appear enraptured by what’s playing on the screen. 

“I like how the movie didn’t deviate much from the book’s plot. I hate it when that happens, don’t you, Haz?” Niall asked while they’re waiting for Louis and Zayn. The movie just ended several minutes ago and Louis said he wouldn’t make it home if he didn’t get to eat anything in the next ten minutes. They ended up sitting at one of the benches at the nearby park while Louis and Zayn went around looking for food. 

“Uh. The movie’s nice, Ni. But I haven’t really read the book so I can’t give you a proper answer,” Harry replied just as he spotted his best friend and boyfriend walking towards them bearing food. “Why don’t you ask Zayn? He’s read the book too. He was the most excited to watch the movie, to be honest. I’m just here because I get to watch for free,” he said as the two finally reached them and handed them burgers and fish and chips and soda.

Niall looked at Zayn and asked the same question he asked Harry. “Yeah, definitely. I prefer movie adaptations that don’t deviate much from the book,” Zayn answered. He was glad Niall didn’t ask what particular scene made him go, that’s exactly how I pictured it when I read the book, because he really wouldn’t have an answer to that seeing as he’d only glimpsed snippets of it. 

He definitely needed to watch again.

 

14.

Zayn didn’t see much of Niall or his friends the rest of the week as he got busy with work. On Sunday, while he was sleeping in (because of lack of plans and just because he was feeling particularly lethargic), his cellphone rang and rang and wouldn’t stop ringing and he wanted to ignore it but it was so annoying. 

He grabbed the offending thing and answered. “Who the hell is this?” he said without preamble.

“Zayn? This is Niall. M’sorry. But uh, did I just interrupt something? God. M’sorry. I didn’t realize…bye.”

Zayn shot up from his bed and frantically called back. When Niall answered with a feeble hello, Zayn wanted to strangle himself. “Niall? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”  
“S’okay, Zayn. It’s my fault. I didn’t mean to interrupt your day.”  
“You weren’t! I swear. I was…sleeping in and I…I thought you were Harry or Louis or Liam.” He heard Niall take a deep breath. Neither said anything for a while so Zayn asked, more calmly this time, “So, uh, how did you get my number?”  
“Are you mad?” Niall asked, voice still laced with apprehension.  
“No, of course not. Actually, I wanted to ask yours from Haz.”  
“Really? Why?”  
“I guess for the same thing you asked for mine?” he said as he smiled.  
“Oh,” Niall replied and Zayn could practically see him blushing. “I…yeah. Just wanted to talk about the uh…movie.”  
“Sure you do,” Zayn said, fighting another bigger smile. “Why don’t we talk about it over lunch?”  
“That would be great!”

They met at a Mexican restaurant that Niall suggested an hour later and they were having fun and talking and flirting a little when Zayn remembered.

He isn’t supposed to be flirting with Niall. 

He wanted so bad to get to know him better, to spend time with him, to may be work up the courage to ask him out. He wanted to. But he couldn’t. Because Liam. This is supposed to be for him.

And just like that, all his earlier enthusiasm seemed to leave him, only to be replaced with dread and a familiar jolt of pain in his chest.

He was beginning to tread into dangerous waters. 

 

15.

When Monday rolled around, Zayn was in a state of ambivalence and couldn’t decide if he ought to be happy or sad or frustrated. He’s certainly all three.

But mostly, he was feeling guilty. He made an absurd excuse about needing to go to the vet to have his dog vaccinated after his epiphany during lunch. He didn’t even have a dog. What if Niall asks Harry about Dumbledog and Harry asks him who the hell is Dumbledog? Seriously, he utters the most horrendous lies. He didn’t even give Niall the opportunity to talk before he was putting money on the table and hastily exiting the establishment.

He thinks that Niall has probably come to the conclusion that Zayn’s the absolute scum of the earth as Zayn himself has come to the conclusion that he is, in fact, a despicable person. 

At least he had work to go to so he could lose himself in that for a few hours. 

 

16.

After work, Zayn, who’s still being bugged by his conscience for his terrible actions and equally terrible lies, called Harry as soon as he got in his flat.

“I did a fucking awful thing. I’m done with this whole thing, Haz. I told Niall I have a dog named Dumbledog and then ran away like the liar that I am, I don’t even—“  
“Hold up, Z. what’s happening? Who’s Dumbledog?” Harry interrupted.

Zayn backtracked and told Harry what happened. “What should I do, Haz?!”  
“Um” was the only reply the boy on the other line has and Zayn’s becoming increasingly agitated by the minute.

“Haz? Mate, help me out here. You put me in this position!”  
“Don’t worry, Z. I’ll think of something. Let me get back to you.” And then he hang up. 

Zayn paced around his flat wishing he at least didn’t name his imaginary pet Dumbledog. 

Or maybe he should.

 

17.

For his part, Harry called Louis and relayed what had happened. 

“Seriously, the guy panics and makes up an imaginary pet dog?” Louis asked, amused.  
“Should we tell him now, love?”  
“I don’t think it’s time yet, Hazza. Let’s do some damage control, shall we?”  
“What are you thinking of doing?”  
“Leave it to me, baby. I know what to do.” 

 

18.

Later that night, Zayn was staring blankly ahead thinking his life was over when he was interrupted by a loud banging on his door and Louis’ subsequent, “Open up you schmuck!”

He opened the door to the sight of Louis holding a Yorkshire terrier.

“This is Arthur. He belongs to a workmate of mine who’s going on a holiday for a few weeks. I volunteered to take care of him just so you could justify your lousy lie of having an actual, live dog,” Louis said as he sauntered into Zayn’s living room and put Arthur down. “He’s house trained so you don’t have to worry. But you do have to walk him twice a day so he could do his business outside. He’s fed twice a day as well. And he loves to play with his human so play with him as often as you can. Harry’s bringing in his stuff.”  
Right on cue, Harry came in bringing with him some dog food and toys.

“Just leave him with his favorite toy,” Louis held up a weird looking toy contraption, “and he’ll be all right when you go to work. Just make sure the toy’s filled with dog treats. Here’s a list of all the things you need to know to take care of Arty,” he continued as he handed a piece of paper to Zayn. 

The dog, Arty, seeing his favorite toy starts to bark at Louis. He then sets the toy down and the dog starts to happily play with it. 

Zayn, who was overwhelmed and shocked with the whole thing, just stood there for a minute. “Lou, what are you doing? I can’t take care of him. I have a job!”  
“Have you been listening to what I said? The dog’s going to be all right as long as you leave him with his toy, feed him, walk him twice a day, and play with him when you can.”  
“But…but…”  
“You told Niall you have a dog. And now you do. What’s the problem?”  
“I still left so suddenly. He probably thinks I’m a douchebag.”

Louis dismissed this. “Already taken care of. Harry talked to him earlier. Explained that Dumbledog is actually Arty here and he did have a vet appointment that you completely forgot and you were running late. Niall, angel that he is, understood and even asked if the dog’s all right.”

“You just happen to have a colleague going on a holiday who needs someone to look after their dog right when I was having this problem?”  
“What can you do, Zayn? I’m incredibly lucky,” Louis sassed. 

 

19.

As it turns out, Arthur was actually a pretty great pet and it was a breeze to take care of him. 

And after last Sunday’s fiasco, Zayn invited Niall to his flat the next Sunday to make up for it by ordering in food and letting the blonde meet and play with the dog. 

It was a rad day. They stuffed themselves, watched movies, watched Arty do cute and funny dog things and just talked about their lives.

That night, Zayn slept with a smile on his face. 

 

20.

Days flew by and Zayn was on cloud nine. Although he was sad to see Arthur go since his owner’s back from her holiday, the fact that he’s spending most of his free time with Niall made up for it.

Everything about the guy fascinates him. He didn’t care that Niall’s not a real blonde because hair color has nothing to do with anything anyhow. He also didn’t care that Niall’s a Belieber and likes singing, at the top of his lungs, Justin Bieber’s songs. He also doesn’t mind that he swears a lot because he’s Irish and that’s that.

He was still happily tallying Niall’s annoyingly endearing traits when Liam called to ask how things are going with the blonde. 

And Zayn lied through his teeth when he said everything’s going well and he thinks he’s about pointed out all of his admirable facets and he thinks Niall’s almost in love with Liam. 

When the conversation ended, Zayn let out all the expletives he didn’t even know he knew. 

He totally forgot about Liam.

He’s a shit friend and he’s so screwed.

 

End Flashback

21.

Zayn woke up still in the same position he was in when he was contemplating the injustice that is his life. 

He continued staring at the ceiling when his stomach growled to let him know the he needs to eat and that he cannot banish himself in his room for the rest of his life.

He’s forgotten about the tiny little fact that he was supposed to be helping Niall warm up to the idea of Liam, not Zayn.

And even if it breaks his heart to do it, he should. He isn’t going to let Liam down.

*&*

A few weeks later, Liam is still MIA (has been since Zayn met Niall) and Zayn and Niall were spending more and more time together. 

It was tormenting Zayn to be getting so close to Niall when he knew he’s doing it all for his friend. Well, he should be doing it for his friend. 

“Did you know Liam’s scared of spoons? He eats ice cream with a fork,” he said, as casually as he could, as he and Niall are eating ice cream, “Also, he may not look it, but he boxes. Since he was 12 and he… he’s really interesting. You won’t get bored,” he added lamely.

“I’m sure I won’t, Zayn,” Niall replied, looking a little perplexed and Zayn wanted nothing more than to pinch those red cheeks and kiss the furrowed forehead but he resisted. “I really am sure he’s fascinating because you keep talking about him lately,” the blonde continued, tone not sarcastic, just pointing out a fact.

“Do I? I didn’t…I didn’t notice,” Zayn said.  
“Is there something you’re not telling me, Zayn? Do you…like Liam?” Niall asked. And Zayn could swear he saw something akin to hurt flash those blue eyes and he felt guilty because what if Niall thinks Zayn likes Liam? 

So he vehemently uttered a “NO!” that had Niall raising one pale eyebrow. “I mean, I don’t. It’s just, I think you two should get to know each other better,” he amended.

And then Niall asked the one question Zayn didn’t think he can answer, didn’t want to answer. “Why?”  
“You two will get along well. Like, really well because, because,” he can’t think of any reason how the two can get on really well because he keeps picturing himself and Niall and how they will surely, a hundred percent positive, get along great. “…I just know you will, Ni.”

“Are you,” Niall started and there’s a hitch in his voice and Zayn immediately knows that whatever the blonde’s going to ask, it hurts him to ask it. “Zayn. Tell me honestly. Are you tired of hanging out with me? Do you miss your friends? Do you want me out of the picture or, like, less in the picture or something?”

God. Here he is, trying to talk Liam up and instead ends up hurting Niall inadvertently. He knew he’d be a shit wingman from the get go. He had no idea how to do this kind of thing right. And he knew he’d even be shittier when he realized he’d want the blonde for himself. “Of course not, Ni. Tell you what, I’ll stop talking about Liam,” and he wanted to eat his own tongue the moment that came out because helping Liam means talking about Liam but, again, here he is promising to not talk about Liam. What the fuck is wrong with him? “…and we can talk about whatever you want. I like hanging out with you, I swear. I just thought you’d be tired of me by now, you know.”

“Well, I’m not,” Niall smiled, “and I’m sure Liam’s as interesting as you say he is but what about we just talk about you and me when we’re together? I feel like I know more about your friend now than I know you and it’s sort of uh…unsettling.”

“Unsettling?”

“I haven’t spent a lot of time with Liam. I mean, I know him but not really know him. And the amount of time you spend talking about him the past week is just…well, a little weird.” 

They ate in silence after that. 

When they were finished and walking to the direction of Niall’s dorm, the blonde continued, like they never stopped talking, “I like spending time with you, Zayn. You’re smart and funny and you actually listen to me babble on and on and I don’t understand why because I usually just annoy Haz. And you don’t tease me about how much I love food or that I like Justin Bieber and you’re okay with me singing whatever’s on the radio when we’re in your car even if I try to sound as off-key as possible because I like to tease you and…why are you so nice to me?”

Because I really like you. “Because I like spending time with you too, Niall. And I genuinely find everything about you interesting.”

Niall stopped walking and Zayn realized he was walking by himself a few steps ahead. He went back to where Niall was. “Everything okay, Ni?”

Niall looked at him then. Really looked at him and he swallowed and his beautiful sapphire eyes were unsure, scared, determined. “I like you, Zayn. I mean, I really like you. As more than a friend. I’m falling in love with you.”

Oh god no, Zayn’s mind screamed. “Niall…” he said as he reached out and touched Niall’s cheek.

And Niall, encouraged by the gesture, leaned forward and slammed his lips onto Zayn’s and it was fiery and passionate, almost brutal but Zayn loved it and he wanted to kiss back with as much hunger but he can’t. Because he couldn’t do this to Liam.

He gently pushed Niall away from him and he can see the blonde’s emotions as it rapidly flashed on his face—confusion, sadness, hurt.

“Z-Zayn?” he asked uncertainly.  
“I can’t be with you, Niall.” And he can’t. That’s the truth. No matter how much it pains him to say it.  
“Why not?”

He can’t say why. It would ruin the whole thing. He can’t say why, so he lied.

And as Niall looked at him with pure, unadulterated hurt and fury and ran away out of sight, Zayn finally dropped the façade and let the tears fall.

*&*

Liam is on the phone with Louis.

“He really likes Niall. I think maybe he’s in love with him.”  
“I think so too, Li. And Haz said Niall’s been really chirpy and happy these days. Always blushing when he asks about Zayn.”  
“So, are we going to tell them?”  
“Tomorrow?”  
“Tomorrow.”

22.

“I’m sorry but…I don’t like you like that, Niall. I’m sorry that I led you on. But this, this whole thing…it doesn’t mean anything. Not to me.”

Niall ran into the direction of his dorm and breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted it. He fumbled for a while because his hands were shaking but he finally was able to open it. He shut the door and intended to run straight to his bed to bawl his eyes out but he didn’t even have the energy to stand anymore. He slipped behind the door and sobbed.

How can he be so stupid? Just because Zayn spends time with him and has been nice and sweet to him ever since that day they started hanging out doesn’t mean he likes Niall. Just because Zayn looks at him like he’s precious doesn’t mean he is. And just because Zayn looks at Niall like he adores him doesn’t mean he does.

But Niall didn’t know all those. And he let himself fall for the walking, breathing, Greek god on earth and he should have known that people like Zayn weren’t made for people like Niall.

As Niall curled into a fetal position, all he could think of was, You’ve been played, Niall. You’ve been played good.

 

23.

Zayn dragged himself home and ignored the incessant and painful throbbing of his heart. He did this to himself and he deserved all the pain he’s feeling right now. 

He does, but Niall doesn’t. 

And he didn’t mean to hurt Niall. The look on his face crushed him but his twisted mind thought that if he hurt Niall, then he’d turn to Harry and Harry will have Liam take care of Niall and they’d fall in love. Eventually.

And Zayn would wither away, forgotten and hated. And he would have earned it. Because he was a prick and a douche and an ass. And he’ll take it all because they couldn’t possibly hate him more than he hates himself.

He has to fix Niall somehow. Someone has to know how despicable he is that he could break an angel like Niall.

So, amid the tears and the self loathing, he reached for his phone and called Liam.

Liam. Who will surely be able to fix Niall. Liam whom Niall should have fallen for in the first place.

And Zayn was going to do that. Even if it meant ripping his own heart out, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because when you’re already a big ball of hurt, one more punch to the gut didn’t do that much damage. 

 

24.

 

Louis woke up to the relentless sound of his phone ringing. He looked at the screen and saw that it was Liam.

“Li? It’s after midnight—“  
“We messed it all up, Lou. Zayn called me and he’s crying so hard I can’t even understand half of what he said but it’s enough to know that we fucked up. And I can only imagine Niall right now. He must be—“  
“Liam. Calm down. What are you saying?” Louis said as Harry stirred beside him asking who’s on the phone. “It’s Liam, love. Wait.”  
“—really shattered right now and what are we going to do? I can’t believe it all went flying out the window and it’s really really bad, Lou.”  
“Can you come here right now?”  
“I’m on my way.”  
Louis turned to Harry, “I think our plan has failed. Big time.”

Liam arrived ten minutes later and tried to explain the whole fiasco that came about from their apparently very poor attempts at playing cupid. “I think we hurt them both. Zayn’s torn about it and I couldn’t tell him it was our fault. He’s really hurt himself bad when he told Niall he didn’t like him,” he said.  
“God, Liam. What did we do?” Louis said as he paced the living room, one hand on his hip and the other massaging his forehead.  
“I’ll go to Niall. He needs me right now,” Harry said from where he’s seated.  
Louis stopped pacing and turned to face his boyfriend, “Alright, Haz. You do that. I’ll go to Zayn’s with Liam.”

25.

When Harry arrived at Niall’s, he pounded on the door, not caring if he’s pissing off neighbors. 

The door opened after a while and he mentally winced at the sight in front of him. Niall’s eyes were red and puffy and his hair was a mess. He let Harry in and the curly-haired lad engulfed the blonde in a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, Ni. This is my fault.”  
Niall sniffed and extricated himself from the hug. “It’s not your fault your friend is a…a…scumbag, Haz.”  
“He’s…he did it because he thought it was the only thing he could do, Niall.”  
“What? Flirt with me? Make me feel wanted? Special? And then tell me it meant nothing? NOTHING?!I let myself fall for him and all this time, he…he was just toying with me.” And as Niall said these words, the tears started flowing again and he didn’t want them to, but they did. Relentlessly. His tears the only visible manifestation of the hurt, the damage Zayn had done to him.

He wanted to not feel anything anymore. He wanted to shut down. And he figured if he cried enough, then all the tears will wash the pain away. Even just for today. And then tomorrow, he can mourn the loss of something he thought he had.  
But Harry kept wiping the tears away. And kept murmuring things he couldn’t comprehend.

“—not his fault.”  
“He’s hurting too.”  
“…likes you. But can’t…”  
“We thought we were doing the right thing.”  
“…thought he’s doing it for Liam…”

The mention of Liam penetrated through his muddled state. “What has Liam got to do with anything?”  
Harry halted his monologue when Niall finally talked again. “A lot. And it’s not just him, I do too. And Louis.”

At Niall’s bemused look, Harry forged ahead. “You see, it was a plan.”  
“A plan?”  
“That went completely bonkers.”  
“What plan, Haz?”  
“Remember when you met Lou and Liam?”

26.

Louis and Liam met Niall by accident. 

He was paired with Harry on a Literature project that they both weren’t really keen to start working on right away. Before being paired up, Harry and Niall have gotten along quite well because they’re both cheerful lads who like to talk. They also usually watch the school’s football team so they could ogle at the great ass—ets that the players have (Louis is aware of this and just shakes his head because he has the greatest asset of all the great assets after all). 

One day, before a football match, the two decided to get food first from a nearby diner. There, they met Louis and Liam who left work early because it was the company’s 50th anniversary and all employees can enjoy half a day off. 

When Harry saw them, he ran towards his friends, while Niall followed. “Boo? Liam? What are you guys doing here?”  
“Half day, love. I was just about to ask where I can find you but here you are.”  
Liam’s response was along the lines of wanting to see Dani who lives nearby and he just decided to grab some bite to eat with Louis before going to his girlfriend’s house. He noticed Niall hovering in the background and asked who he is.

“Oh. Lou, Liam, this is my friend Niall.” He turned to Niall, “Ni, this is my boyfriend Louis and my best friend Liam.”  
“Hi there. So you’re the famous Louis Tomlinson Haz can’t stop talking about?” he inquired Louis.  
Louis raised an eyebrow at his dimpled boyfriend but his expression is amused. “Guilty.”  
“And a pleasure to meet you, Liam.” Niall said.  
“Love your Irish accent, mate,” Liam replied.

When Liam got a text from Dani saying that she wouldn’t be home for at least two more hours, they all ended up watching the match together. 

Later, after Louis learned that Niall likes guys as well, his scheming mind went into full alert. Niall is fun and loud and good-looking and single (he asked Harry about the blonde’s relationship status). Zayn, on the other hand, is broody and mysterious and shy. He’s also painfully handsome and more importantly, single. Yes. He can see the potential in there.

He observed Niall for a few more days as he and Harry started hanging out in their apartment to do the Literature project that, after a few days, looked to be going nowhere because seriously, those two buggers aren’t even trying.

Some days, Liam will come in, a worried glint in his eye because he misses Zayn, not in the physical form because they still get to hang out together most of the time. He misses the Zayn who is bookish and smart and caring. 

Louis misses that Zayn too. So he told Liam he has a plan. And Liam reluctantly agreed. Because they are doing this for Zayn, right? And they needed Dani’s thumbs up. So they called Dani and told her she and Liam has to break-up and stay out of sight for a while. They needed a front and Liam is the only one who can do it. Dani refused at first. “Why don’t you just introduce them? Like normal people do?”  
“Because Zayn wouldn’t go if we just tell him we want to introduce him to someone we think is perfect for him. He hates set-ups.” Louis said.  
“So you came up with this? This half-baked scheme to introduce them so Zayn could be a wingman for Liam?”  
“Yes.”  
“And then what?”  
“And then he’d have to hang out with Niall because we’re going to say that’s what wingmen do. And when we find out that they’re starting to like each other, we’ll tell Zayn it was all a ruse and he could be with Niall.”  
“You realize it could backfire, right? Like, if you tell him too late? And what if they didn’t fall for each other?”  
“Please. I know Zayn. Trust me, he’d like Niall. And no one can even resist his Irish accent. And, Niall will like Zayn. Dani, please? Liam wouldn’t even be in the picture. You can still spend as much time as you’re used to. We’ll just need his break-up story for Phase 1.”  
“I don’t even want to know what Phase 1 is, Louis. But, I miss our Zayn too. So, okay.”

When they told Harry the plan, he agreed.

 

27.

“You did what?!” Niall just finished hearing the plan and he would have laughed his face off if he wasn’t experiencing the painful after effects of it.  
“You were hanging out for, like, three months, Ni. And we haven’t really seen the two of you lately. You’ve been in your own little world and everybody’s been so busy we haven’t had time to sit down and talk about it and…we planned on telling you about the plan tomorrow.”  
Niall is seeing red. He’s been played, all right. But it wasn’t Zayn who played him. Zayn was a victim too. “What kind of stupid plan is that, Harry?”  
“It was the only way we can think of that would make Zayn meet you.”  
Niall’s legs turned to jelly at this. Jesus. Zayn wouldn’t even want to meet him if not for an absurdly insane plan that doesn’t make an ounce of sense.

At Niall’s stricken look, Harry gently grabbed his shoulders and explained, “It’s not what you think, Ni. It’s just, Zayn hasn’t really been Zayn after James left him. He refused to go out. We tried setting him up a few times and it all ended up in a disaster. After a while, he wouldn’t let us set him up with anyone.” 

The blonde just continued looking at him. “So, then Lou and Liam met you. And Louis thought you’d be perfect for Zayn but there was no way he’d come and meet you if he knew what we were up to. So Louis came up with the plan and somehow, it worked. And I told you, we were going to tell you guys tomorrow. But we didn’t realize…that it could be a little too late. I’m sorry, Niall.”

 

It wasn’t enough. Apologies wouldn’t make it any less messed up but it was all Harry could offer. That and the why and the how it all ended up in this twisted situation and somehow, it would have to make do. 

Because now he knows Zayn didn’t do what he did because he didn’t feel anything for Niall. He did that because he thought it was for the best. Because he was doing it for his friend.

He was still sniffing when Harry came back with a cup of hot tea. He didn’t even realize Harry had gone. He can’t even remember how he made it to the small couch he and his roommate shared. But when the boy offered him the tea with the saddest, most adorable puppy dog eyes he’s seen in his entire life, Niall couldn’t help but soften a little. He accepted the cup and took a deep breath. “Give me some time to wrap my head around it, Haz. I,” he took a sip of the tea, “I can see where you’re coming from. It was an idiotic thing to do but I guess you guys felt compelled to do it the only way you knew how.”

“Can you ever forgive me, us, Ni?”  
Niall smiled at his friend, “Shit happens, Haz. I’m not really mad anymore but, as I said, you have to give me time. ”

And before Harry even had time to open his mouth and argue his case, his cellphone rang. A quick glance to the screen indicated it was his boyfriend calling. He felt goose bumps rise as he continued listening to Louis and when he ended the call with “we’ll be right over, Boo” he looked at Niall, who seemed to have caught on that something’s wrong because he gulped as he asked what’s wrong.

“Zayn. He…he’s missing.”

 

28.

It was a cowardly thing to do, sure. But he’s hurt and he messed up and he might have just lost his best friends. Not to mention, he most certainly just lost the love of his life. 

Therefore, it was inevitable to want to see and hug the only person who could make things somehow right again. 

He just wants his mum.

Which is why mere minutes after he confessed to Liam the atrociously awful thing he did and ending it with an “I understand if you all didn’t want to be my friend anymore,” he just picked up his phone and wallet and left. For Bradford. For home.

He didn’t even bring his car because he seriously doubts he can drive in his current condition. He got on a bus that took him to the tube and when he got on the train, he kept to himself and willed himself to sleep. 

But he was too miserable to sleep and he really needed another good cry. But he wasn’t going to cry while riding a train on the way to see his mum. He refuses to act like some chick in a romantic flick because he is not a chick, but a chicken. And this is nowhere near romantic. It’s tragically pitiful.

He arrived at the crack of dawn and woke his mother up to hysterical door banging that may be unbecoming but he didn’t care. When his mum finally opened the door, the look on her face changed from extreme irritation to mild surprise to comprehension and then to sympathy at the sight of her only son with puffy eyes and forlorn expression. She dropped the bat she was holding (in case it was some psycho or a burglar, although burglars don’t normally bang your door) and hugged Zayn to her chest as she cooed, “my baby” and kissed him on the forehead.

They shuffled to his room and sat on the edge of the bed as Zayn cried and cried and Tricia just held her son. When the tears stopped and the sobbing turned into sniffles, she laid him down on the bed and tucked him in, like he was five all over again. She kissed his forehead one last time and murmured, “we’ll talk about it when you’re ready, love.”

Zayn nodded and finally, fell asleep.

 

29.

Harry and Niall arrived at Zayn’s flat and found Louis and Liam, both clearly distraught.

Liam looked up from his where he was seated on the floor and there were tear streaks on his face, “He could be anywhere. What if he…?”  
Louis glared at him from where he’s standing by the television. “He didn’t! Zayn isn’t stupid, Li.”  
Niall looked at them in confusion, “What if he what?”  
“He drank himself into oblivion the last time he got…dumped. It wasn’t very nice.” Harry replied.  
“Technically, he dumped me. If you can call it dumping. I mean, we weren’t even together so,” the blonde replied trying to lighten the mood a bit.  
“He did it against his will,” Liam said.

Harry walked over to the couch and sat, “Where do you think he went?”  
“Don’t know, Hazza. You think we should scour the city?”  
“Zayn’s a big boy, maybe we should leave him alone for a while?”  
“Liam’s right,” Niall answered. “What if we just wait for him here? That way we could all talk in the morning. God knows we’ve had enough of the not talking.”

They all agreed and set up camp in Zayn’s minute living room, where Liam took the couch and Harry procured two sleeping bags and offered one to Niall while he and Louis squeezed themselves in the other. 

*

The rather obnoxious ringing of Harry’s phone woke them all up, except for Harry who just snuggled deeper into Louis’ nape. Louis groggily reached for the phone and answered it while Liam tried to blink the sleep away and Niall rubbed his eyes.

When Louis ended the call, he looked at Liam then at Niall and said, “Zayn’s in Bradford. That was his mum who called.”

Liam stayed quiet while Niall heaved a sigh of relief. “At least we know he’s safe.”  
“Yes. But he isn’t…well. Tricia said he Cried himself to sleep and wouldn’t tell her what’s wrong.”  
“What did you say then?” Liam asked.  
“The summarized version: we messed up and Zayn got it all wrong and we’re going to try to fix it.”  
“How do you propose we fix it?”  
Louis smirked at them and proceeded to wake Harry up, “Wake up, love. We’re going to Bradford.”

*  
“Not until tomorrow, we can’t,” Niall said as he paced across the living room.  
“Nialler’s right. Tomorrow, we take this final exam and we can’t miss it. It’s the last of all our exams,” Harry agreed.  
“But wasn’t the last day of exams yesterday, Hazza?”  
“Supposedly. But Mr. Morris’ wife got into an accident yesterday and he had to reschedule the whole thing and tomorrow’s the only other day we can take it because they start computing and stuff next week.”  
“How’s the wife though?” Liam inquired.  
“Last we heard she’s out of surgery.”  
“So tomorrow, then? After your exams? We head to Bradford.”  
Three voices answered with a Yes, Lou and Deal and All right.

30.

When he woke up not enough hours later, the first thing he noticed is that it's bright and warm and comfortable—all the things he didn't think he'd experience again, things he didn't want to, actually. But as he takes the familiar outline of his childhood bedroom, he relaxes back to bed. He's safe for now. He knows he can't stay hidden here forever but he's going to take the little amount of safety he could get.

Zayn hasn't been scared of facing his mother in a while. Not since he was fifteen when she found his secret stash of cigarette and he got the lecture to rival all lectures he's been at the receiving end of. He has two younger sisters after all and he wasn't setting a good example for them by smoking. And did he want to die at a young age? Poison his lungs and hack himself to death? He's heard it all and more that day and he did not want a repeat of that today of all days. 

He stared at his ceiling and assessed his condition mentally: his throat is sore and his eyes hurt something fierce. His throat felt like it's been through a grinder and his whole body feels...numb. Yep, he's just feeling super. 

His stomach grumbled. 

Well, at least he still feels something.

He showered and put on some fresh clothes and trudged downstairs, carefully. Like if he was quiet enough, then he'd never have to face his mum. At least his sisters were at school and Doniya and his father's surely at work. He's ashamed of himself, of what he's done. And he really didn't want to face anyone, didn't think he could. The only exception is the person who's facing him now. Her face showing not anger nor uncertainty just...acceptance. Like she knew he did something awful and he was broken and empty but it didn't matter. Because she's his son and she would fix him and fill him with all the love he needs to get by again.

By the time he was fed and sated, it was almost noon. And when Tricia finally sat down in front of him and held his hands tight, Zayn couldn't help but talk. 

He began with "there's this guy..."

"And I didn't want to hurt him but it was the only way. Because I wasn't allowed to love him and I wanted us to be just friends but it got out of hand. I-I couldn't not love him. And mum, the worst thing is...is that he loves me back and I had to lie and tell him...I told him it was a game to me. That I didn't feel anything. But I do. I do." And he wanted to say more, to defend himself but he was sort of drowning in his own tears and his nose is congested and his hands are shaking. He didn't even know when his mum got up and held him close to her. 

"It's going to work out, Zayn. You'll see, it will be alright, baby." 

*

Zayn spent the majority of the day sprawled on his bed reading the first Harry Potter book. He hasn't read it in years and he needed to do something that wasn't moping or whining about the disaster that is his love life. He fell asleep thinking he'd have to call in at work tomorrow and ask for a few days off because he didn't want to get back to London jobless, on top of heartbroken. 

He got up early the next morning so he could see his family before they all left for work and for school. Safaa lit up when she saw him and he felt guilty that he didn't see her yesterday. After they left, he went to his room and gathered a blanket and the Harry Potter book in a rucksack. He then went to the kitchen made himself a sandwich and packed a bottled water.

"Mum, I'm going to the park."  
"Be careful. And don't stay out too late."

31.

Niall and Harry sat through the last hellish two hours of their lives as students and Niall didn't know about Harry, but he was sure he got enough items correct to know he was going to pass. He knew. He counted it five times. And as far as he can remember, he'd done okay in this subject. He breezed through the other items half-heartedly because he needed this thing to be over. He needed to go to Bradford.

When they were finally told to stop and pass the booklets over, Niall couldn't pass it fast enough. He bolted out the door even before the final words of good bye and best of luck left their professor's mouth.

Harry caught up to him seconds later and they ran as fast as their feet could take them to where Louis and Liam were waiting in the former's car. 

"Got everything we need, love?" Harry asked as he clambered beside his boyfriend and pecked said boyfriend's cheek. Louis muttered a yes as he started the car and backed out of the parking lot. 

*

“Why d’you think he just ran off to Bradford?” Niall asked from the back of Louis’ car as he took a bite off of his hamburger. 

They were on the first hour of their road trip and they just ordered through a drive thru.

Harry, who was obviously riding shotgun, answered thoughtfully, “He probably just thought of home, you know. Like, I dunno. Kids just always ran back to their mums when they’re hurt, right? Or when someone hurt them? Because mums they’re always…there. They’re the constant in our lives. They don’t ever hate on us when we’re adolescents and hating on everybody and pushing away our family. They believe us when the rest of the world doesn’t. They just love their children unconditionally. And their kisses and hugs…are sort of uh…magical.”

Louis looked fondly at his curly haired boyfriend and smiled, “Magical?”

“Yeah. They take the pain away just like that. And a mum’s hug always makes you feel like you’re in the safest place in the entire planet.”

Liam took a sip of his thankfully amazing and legit brewed coffee and said, “I guess what Harry’s trying to say is that Zayn must have felt like biggest…” he hesitated, “ehm…douche and loser in the entire world and he just needed to be reassured that he isn’t… and that he’s not alone.”

“Now I feel like we’re the biggest douchebags in the planet,” Louis sighed. “I just wanted Zayn to be happy. I didn’t think it would blow up into this…one big pile of shit.” His eyes met Niall’s at the rearview mirror and then he added morosely, “I’m really really sorry, Niall.”  
The blonde sighed. “I’m not saying I forgive any of you already, I mean, that depends on how this whole thing’s going to play out but…I can’t say I blame you. You were just trying to help. And I know this is sort of fucked up but you did bring us together. I wouldn’t have met him if not for you guys.”

Liam cleared his throat, “Well, I shouldn’t have agreed to it, Niall. But just like these two here, I wanted Zayn to be Zayn again and we all agreed that it just might be you who brings him back to who he was before that guy who we’re never going to talk about again. And I’m sorry that it came to this,” he finished as he offered a tentative smile to Niall.

“I just hope we’re not too late,” he said. 

They made it to Bradford in the afternoon.

*

"Go ring the doorbell," Louis said to Niall once they made it to the front porch. Zayn's front porch. Or his family's.  
Niall shook his head, "Aside from Zayn, nobody in that house knows me."  
"So what?"  
"So, I don't think it's wise for me to be the one knocking because there's a chance they wouldn't open the door for a stranger."  
"We'll be behind you, Niall. It's not like they won't see us."  
"Not if they look through a peephole."  
"It's a house, not an apartment. There's a wall-wide window to peep through," Louis answered exasperatedly.  
"Then why don't you ring it?" Niall answered just as heatedly.  
"I drove the whole way. I'm knackered."  
"You're just going to push a button!"  
Louis was clearly done fighting with him because he turned to Harry, "Love, ring the doorbell would you?"  
Harry looked like he wanted to get back to the car and wait inside it.  
Liam threw both of his hands up, "Oh for the love of–I'll do it."

Liam was a second away from ringing the doorbell when it opened to reveal an amused-looking Tricia Malik. "Hello, boys," she smiled. "Is there any reason why none of you are particularly excited to ring our doorbell?"  
"Hi, Tricia," Harry smiled, showing off his adorable dimples like it would throw Zayn's mother off.  
It did. "Hi, Harry. Come on in boys," she said as she opened the door wider and gestured for them to come inside. She ushered them to the dining room and served them snacks and refreshment while Liam introduced Niall. Then, the three proceeded to shamefully and morosely confess to Tricia what they had done that had Zayn running back here in a mess of tears and broken spirit. 

Niall didn't want to be rude but he couldn't take listening to his three idiotic friends anymore and he just wanted to see Zayn. Granted, he's still hurt by what Zayn told him but he did that for a reason. And he broke his own heart in the process, didn't he? He cleared his throat respectfully, well, as respectfully as one can clear a throat because he's kind of rudely interrupting here but, well, everyone's attention is on him now anyway. "I just. I'm sorry but. Uh...can I, like, I'd like to...see, I mean talk..."

"He's at the park, dear," Tricia smiled at him.  
And oh. Niall would go. He would. If he knew what that park is. And if he knew how to get there. But he didn't. So he stayed rooted to the seat and gaped hopelessly.  
After a few awkward seconds, Tricia realized what the problem is and she bit her lip as she smiled. "Louis knows how to get there."  
And Louis, eager to get out of the discussion, leaped at the chance of getaway, "I do! I'll accompany you there, Ni."

32.

The park turned out to be fucking humongous and how was Niall supposed to find Zayn in this monstrosity? He’d be lucky if he found Zayn within the week let alone within the next hour or so. But Niall was a man on a mission and he wasn’t going to give up before he even started. He picked a random direction and started walking towards the east.  
He’s been wandering aimlessly for about half an hour when, on a whim, he decided to start going south. He walked for another fifteen minutes when he located a bench and sat on it. He was tired and thirsty and there’s no sign of Zayn anywhere.  
The sun is beginning to set too. It would have been nice to just sit here and get lost in the beauty of the sunset if he wasn’t so…alone. The park is so big that he’s only seen a couple of people while he’s walking around. When Niall decided that he’s rested enough, he got up and went straight ahead. It was a bit darker now that the sun is almost gone but he was feeling a bit reckless because he has his phone with him and if he gets lost in the middle of this park that is actually, maybe a city, he knew that could call Louis to pick him up and if Zayn was with them by that time, then he would be worried about Niall and surely, he’d find him here somewhere, right? And this is a park so it has to be relatively safe around here. Unless some psycho madman was out hunting for a human prey and…no. He’s been watching too much crime dramas and his imagination is going into overdrive and oh Christ. He wonders where he could be. Why didn’t he just sit through the whole confession and then wait for Zayn to come home so they could have talked somewhere around the house where it’s totally safe?  
Niall was beginning to get just a bit freaked and was walking-running around trying to find a familiar spot when he spotted a gigantic tree some thirty feet on his left. He ran towards it but stopped when he saw movement. He held his breath and watched as the person seemed to be packing up for the day.  
Niall let out a relieved sigh. Before he can think too much about it, he moved nearer and started talking, “Excuse me. Uh…is it alright if I—“  
“Niall?”  
“Z-Zayn?”  
“How are…what are you doing here?” Zayn dropped the blanket he was folding because this cannot be happening. Niall wasn’t in Bradford. He wasn’t talking to Niall because there’s no way he could be here.

33.

He really should have thought this through. He didn’t even know what he was going to say because, technically, he’s the injured party here. But Zayn was also, technically, an injured party making Niall a second degree injured party of some sort that’s making his head spin.  
So, he’s established the fact that they’re both victims here. But Niall knew the truth now and Zayn’s still in the dark. Which still doesn’t give him an idea of how to approach this, exactly. Because from what Niall can see (which is very little because it’s gone quite dark and Zayn’s still a few feet away), Zayn looked like a kicked puppy who has no clue what’s going on whatsoever.  
Niall had to tread through this very gently. “Don’t you dare try to run away from me again, Zayn. Don’t you fucking dare.” Which, okay. That didn’t exactly count as gentle but he needed to establish the no running away rule, first and foremost. “We fucking need to talk and you’re going to be fucking honest with me,” he half-growled.  
So he was still a tad angry at Zayn. And he wanted to be gentle but, alas, he’s rebelling against himself. He was going to say fucking as many times as he wants to because he’s mad and he’s hurt and he didn’t think he deserved that kind of treatment at all. Tricia might have told him that Zayn regrets what he’d done but regretting it won’t take away Niall’s pain. Regretting it isn’t going to make it hurt any less nor take away the fact that that he did it.  
He didn’t mean to cry. He didn’t even mean to be mad. He went here intending to woo the guy for Christ’s sake. Not guilt trip him more than he’s already torturing himself. But here he was crying and Zayn had tears in his eyes as well and damn if this isn’t some weird cry fest and they haven’t even talked yet.  
When Zayn started walking towards him, Niall had the urge to step back, to turn away but he resisted. Zayn stopped about two feet away and he looked so lost and lonely that Niall almost hugged him. But he didn’t. Instead, he stood his ground and wiped his tears with the back of his hand.  
A cricket crick-cricked from somewhere in the vicinity and yet they stayed still and clearly, Zayn wasn’t going to start talking first so Niall had to begin somehow. “Did you,” he hesitated, thought if he really wanted to ask it because the fate of his sanity depends on the answer, but he plowed on anyway, “did you really mean it when you said you didn’t love me?” And he whispered those last words as he looked at the ground because no matter what everyone else said, he couldn’t be too sure that Zayn does love him. He might not have lied that night after all and God. Niall would break all over again.  
But then, Zayn winced and almost brought a hand to cup Niall’s face but he stopped mid-air and dropped it. Like he knew that he wasn’t allowed to touch. Not yet. “You had to have known, Niall. You had to know that that was a lie. The most awful lie I’d had the misfortune to say in my entire life,” and he almost crumpled to the ground but he held on. He had to say this before he said goodbye. Before he loses Niall forever. “You couldn’t not know that it shattered me to say it because I loved you the first time I laid my eyes on you. I love you and I tried not to but you made it impossible. I’m so fucking in love with you.”  
Niall couldn’t help himself anymore, he held Zayn’s face in his hands, “Zayn…”  
“But I can’t,” Zayn said as he looked into the blue orbs of his entire world. “Liam found you first.”  
“It doesn’t mean he gets to keep me.” Zayn looked so torn at this so Niall hurried on to add, “Besides, I’m pretty sure Liam’s straight.”  
Zayn snorted. “He was. Before you came along.”  
And Niall had to laugh at this. “Zayn, I’m pretty sure I’m…well uh…kind of cute…”  
“There’s no kind to it. You are cute, Niall.”  
“Stop interrupting!” Niall snapped, amused. “Okay, I’m pretty sure I’m cute. But I’m not the kind of cute that turns someone gay.”  
“But…”  
“It was a scheme,” Niall blurted out. “Liam wasn’t into me. He still isn’t. He’ll never be. He’s in love with his girlfriend. Like, so in love, Zayn.”  
The deafening silence that followed felt like it could stretch on and on and—  
“Come again?” Zayn said, unbelieving.  
“Your friends planned it. I only found out about it two days ago.”  
Zayn felt the beginnings of anger rising within him. He asked as calmly as he can, “What exactly did they do?”  
“They uh…well, it was stupid and kind of funny now that I think about it.”  
“Niall, what did they do?”  
“They had Liam pretend to be gay so they could trick you into meeting me because otherwise you wouldn’t—Zayn? Did you actually just growl?”  
He did but he was mad. Like Hulk-ish mad and he wanted to grit his teeth and crack his knuckles and he wanted to punch something. “They fucking did what?”  
Niall felt happy and relieved that he wasn’t into the plan because the look on Zayn’s face wasn’t one that he ever wanted to see again. He had this sudden urge to defend their friends. “I already gave them shit for it,” he said carefully. Although, he didn’t really. He didn’t even have the time to be furious. “You have to let them explain, Z,” he said as he caressed Zayn’s face in an effort to calm him down.  
It seemed to have worked because Zayn took a deep breath and looked at him with worry. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that I thought I had to. I’m sorry that I have idiots for best friends. I’m—“  
“I’m not. I mean, I’m sorry that we both got hurt in the process but they had a reason for doing what they did.”  
“A reason?” Zayn asked incredulously. “For fuck’s sake, Niall. Nobody in their right mind would do what they did!”  
“Would you have gone to meet me otherwise? If you knew it was a set-up, would you have gone?”  
Zayn deflated at this. “I…ye–probably no.”  
“Exactly.”

“It doesn’t make it right, what they did.”

“No. But it worked.”

Zayn stayed silent. “You should talk to them,” Niall said.

“Niall…will we…are we…are we okay?”

The blonde smiled. “Yeah. We just need to sort this all out first.”

And together, they walked back to the park entrance.

Where Liam, Louis, and Harry were waiting.

And Niall stood awkwardly for a good half hour as a combination of shouting, cursing, a little crying and some very serious conversation took place.

34.

Weeks later…

They were at the in one of the larger halls in the university and Niall was playing with his academic dress or robe or toga or whatever it is that they call it, for lack of anything better to do because they weren’t even allowed to use their phones. And he was stupid enough to actually leave his with his mum when people around him are obviously texting or playing.

He was just waiting for the ceremony to be over because he’s too bored he’s about to mash his seatmates’ heads together because they kept talking over him and it was beyond annoying and Harry is way at the back and it was really stupid that they have to sit according to surname.

After what felt like the rest of forever, it was finally done. Niall is now, officially, a college graduate and he can’t believe he was going to have to look for a job…may be next month because he’s totally going to enjoy a few weeks of total freedom first.

And also, there’s the fact that he wants to enjoy his boyfriend. Because, yes, he totally has one now. And there he is, standing with Niall’s family and would you look at that, he’s got a nice bouquet of…chocolates.

“You know me so well,” he said as he accepted the bouquet.  
Zayn smiled at him and kissed his cheek because Niall’s parents are standing a few feet away and they have morals—in front of parents.  
Niall stepped away from Zayn and went in to greet his family. When Niall gestured for him to come closer so that he could introduce them properly, Zayn took a fortifying breath and put on his biggest smile as he met his boyfriend’s family. 

Maura hugged him and then gathered his face in her hands. “He is every bit as handsome as you said he is, Niall,” she said fondly.  
“Do not scare off the boy, Maura,” Bobby said as he moved in to shake his hand rather firmly and, okay, ouch. “Listen, Zayn. You hurt my boy and there will be hell to pay.”  
“Dad,” Niall chastised while Zayn just gulped and nodded his head frantically.  
“Standard protocol, son.” And then he turned to Zayn again, “Now that that’s out of the way, you’re welcome in our home, anytime.” As Niall muttered “m’not a girl” under his breath.

They enjoyed a hearty meal at a posh Italian restaurant and said their goodbyes after.

Niall moved to hug his parents. “I’ll see you at Heathrow tomorrow afternoon.”  
“Yes, dear. Now go. You don’t want to be late at wherever it is you young people go to to celebrate,” his mum answered. 

They were halfway to Zayn’s car when Maura shouted, “And take care of each other now!”

35.

Niall was sure it was the Dani who answered the door for them. She had an easy smile and a pretty face and no wonder Liam’s smitten. She hugged Zayn and turned to Niall, “It’s nice to finally formally meet you, Niall.”  
“You too,” the blonde answered sincerely. And then Dani hugged him as well, like he’s an old friend. Again, no wonder Liam’s smitten.

They were ushered inside where the others were and Harry lit up like a Christmas light when he saw them (like he did not just see Niall a few hours ago). “You came,” he said, sounding relieved.

And Niall internally sighed because things were still a little jilted between Zayn and Liam and Harry and Louis and he just wants them all to be okay because things are actually okay.

Dani must have felt the oncoming bout of awkwardness because she shouted, “Graduation presents time!” and gathered all of them in Harry and Louis’ living room.

“For Harry first?” she asked and they all nodded. She took something from her purse, “This is from me and Liam.” 

Harry took it from her and unwrapped a very expensive-looking perfume which is probably really pricey. Harry beamed at them, “Thank you so much.”

And because it seems like Zayn still wasn’t into talking (although it was him who thought of the gift), it was Niall who handed the envelope over. “Erm, here’s ours.”

Harry opened it and looked at the contents in wonder. “Nialler, these are photos of…cats.”  
Niall blushed. “Zayn and I…we uh…bought you one of them at the…I can’t remember the name of the shop. It’s somewhere there,” he gestured as Harry took out a card with the shop’s name and address on it. “We weren’t sure what kind to pick so we took their pictures and you can pick one up any time until day after tomo—rph“ he tried to say as he was engulfed in a hug by a ginormous Harry who was mouthing thank you, thank you, thank you.

“I can’t guarantee that the one you choose will still be there so better have at least three choices. I mean, someone could have already bought any one of them,” Niall said.

Harry returned to his place by Louis’ side and was browsing through the pictures fondly. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and smiled at the direction of Zayn and Niall.

Liam cleared his throat and procured another envelope, “This one’s for Niall. And also for Zayn. It’s from all of us.”

He handed the envelope to Niall who settled into Zayn’s embrace first before opening the envelope.

“It’s an all expense, one week trip to…ehm…somewhere,” Louis said excitedly.

True enough, a brochure fell out. Niall picked it up and read it, “Little Dix?” He looked at the four faces surrounding him, all of them trying not to laugh. 

“Really? Little Dix?” It was Zayn and he has an eyebrow raised and he looked…amused.

“It’s the Caribbean. It’s romantic,” Louis defended. He was blushing furiously.  
“Actually,” Liam answered, “we all agreed on sending you both to Italy because Niall will love the food there.”  
“And Zayn would love the ambience,” Dani finished for him.  
“But uh…Boo sort of mixed everything up and we don’t know why but instead of Italy, it became the British Virgin Islands and…Little Dix has amazing reviews, okay?” Harry said by way of explanation and also of defending his boyfriend.

And then, amazingly, Zayn laughed. “I do not have little anything. And trust me, even Niall isn’t little.” 

And just like that, everything was okay again.

*  
With the air cleared and everyone in a celebratory mood, Louis brought over some chilled beer and juice and they all settled outside, on his and Harry’s small but well-kept backyard as Liam started on the barbecues. Dani and Niall were with Harry and they were in a serious discussion over the cat photos.

Louis went over to where Zayn was seated and offered him a beer.

“Thanks.”  
“Sure, mate.”  
“I’m really sorry, Zayn. I was the uh…architect of the scheme, you know.”  
Zayn tried not to smile, “Yeah. I sort of figured out that it was you who planted that silly plan in their heads.”  
Louis shrugged. “It wasn’t the smartest thing I’d done but I didn’t have many options.”  
“I’m sorry too. I overreacted. I shouldn’t have said the things I said back in Bradford.”  
“Yeah. But, in your defense, you were hurt.”  
“It’s not,” he drank some beer before continuing, “…what you did, it didn’t warrant me saying that you should stay well out of my life. That I didn’t need traitors for friends. God. I was an asshole that night wasn’t I?”  
“We were interfering bastards,” Louis said.  
“You were looking out for me.”  
“True that.”  
“Lou.”  
Louis looked at him, “hmm?”  
“You and Harry and Liam—you’re the bestest best friends a person could ever ask for.”  
“Did you just use bestest?” Louis asked, his eyes laughing (in the way only Louis’ eyes can).  
“Shut up.”  
“Aww.” A beat of comfortable silence then, “So, you and Niall, you’re together together now, right?”  
Zayn looked to where Niall was, still talking to Harry. Dani was helping Liam with grilling some potatoes and peppers. “Yeah.” And he couldn’t help but stare dreamily at the blonde.  
“At least we got it right. He’s perfect for you.”  
“I know it’s a bit late but thank you. I found him because of you guys.”  
“When did you fix it?”  
“Fix what? You mean, when we became us officially?” At Louis’ nod he continued, “That night, after you all left when I said I needed some time to cool off we uh…stayed at the park and sorted things out.”

36.

Bradford, weeks ago…

Liam, Louis, and Harry left after the great debacle that left all four of them exhausted and mad and a tad regretful. Zayn hasn’t moved since they left, just continued staring at the spot where his friends were minutes ago. The only difference was that his angry puffing eventually turned into a deep sigh and then even breathing. 

Niall stood to the side, rubbing his right arm with his left hand in an attempt to—he doesn’t know, really. It wasn’t like he was cold because it’s almost summer; he just needed something to do with his hands is all. He walked the few steps to get to Zayn and put his hand on the guy’s shoulder. “Zayn?”

Zayn started at the voice of Niall. He turned halfway to give the blonde a reassuring smile, “I’m fine, Niall. Just…peachy.”

Niall can’t help but smile at this. “Peachy? You’re nowhere near peachy, Zayn.”  
“I am, actually. I mean, I needed that release.”  
“Will you guys be okay?”  
“Yeah. We…we’ve been through so much to let this get to us. I mean, it happens. We fight.”  
“And?”  
“And we give each other time to let off steam, to calm down. And then we just…I dunno. Something happens and then we’re okay again.”  
“Do you want to go home?”  
Zayn shook his head. “Can we go back to where you found me?”

It was darker now than it was earlier so it took them some time to find the same tree where Zayn spent most of the afternoon. When they got there, he took out the blanket and spread it out. When they were seated, with Niall’s back on Zayn’s chest and the latter’s arms around him, Zayn asked, “You hungry?”  
“Surprisingly, no.”  
Zayn chuckled. “That is a surprise. But that’s good. I don’t exactly have food with me.”  
They were silent for a while, both enjoying the sight of the moon and the stars and the feel of the light breeze on their skin. 

After a moment, Niall twisted his head so he could look at Zayn, “I guess this makes us okay, huh?”  
Zayn tightened his hold on the blonde. He was still scared and mortified that he hurt Niall and he hasn’t forgiven himself. Yet. “Does it? Ni. Do you—do you forgive me?”

Niall settled back into Zayn’s embrace. Has he forgiven Zayn? He hasn’t really thought about it. But here and now, he thinks he has. After all, he forced himself to hurt Niall because he thought he was doing the right thing. He didn’t want to come between Liam and Niall—Niall shuddered at this because Liam is handsome, yes. But just…no—and in the end, would it really solve anything if he prolonged their agony? Would not forgiving Zayn now be good for both of them? “When I first met you, I thought, here comes another heartbreaker. You looked so devastatingly handsome it wasn’t fair. I thought I was going to hate you because, surely, guys who look like you can only be cocky and confident and uh…assholes, you know.” And he smiled as he squeezed Zayns hands wrapped around him. “But then you just stared at me and—remember the first thing you said to me?”

Zayn floundered for a moment. He remembers seeing Niall for the first time. How it made his heart stop and the whole starstruck thing yada yada yada. He couldn’t remember what he said, though. “Uh…hi?” he ventured.  
“You said fuck me. I think Harry was horrified for you. He got so red.” And they both laughed at this. “You were staring and you were awkward and I had to change my opinion of you, right then and there. By the end of that first day, I decided I liked you.” 

“And then we started hanging out more often and you weren’t anything but thoughtful and kind and sometimes, you were so insecure about yourself and all I kept thinking was either you haven’t looked in a mirror in the past five years or may be someone…some jerk hurt you. And I find out it was the latter and I desperately wanted to be the one who makes you see that you aren’t worthless and that you’re beautiful and also, that you didn’t have to be broody all the time.”

“And then it was good for a few weeks but then…you started talking about Liam. All the damn time, Zayn. And I tried to be okay with the fact that may be you liked him. But you kept hanging out with me and it was confusing.”

Zayn remembered that conversation. “So you asked me if I liked Liam?” 

“Yes. And…I got to tell you, that was the most violent no I’ve ever heard.”

“I was trying to build his image or something. Like Louis told me to.”

“I figured. Well, the thing is, we both know now that we’ve been…uh, for lack of a less implicating term, manipulated by your friends but they had a good intention. Noble, even.”

“Noble?”

“When you do things for love, and they love you, I think it’s noble.”

“Okay?” Zayn wasn’t sure where this was going. Niall still hasn’t answered his original question.

“What I’m trying to say is that I can’t really be mad at them for doing what they did because it was their love for you that pushed them to do it.”

“Uhuh. Niall—“

“And now that I can see the whole picture, I can’t stay mad at you either because a) You’ve beaten yourself enough and b) You were hurt too also, c) I think we’ve had enough drama to last us a couple of years or so,” he arched his head so he could look Zayn in the eye as he added, “I like to be with you, Zayn. I love you.” 

Zayn looked tenderly into the eyes of the very person he didn’t think he could ever be with and brought his lips close to Niall’s as he whispered, “And I love you.” 

They kissed tenderly for a while before Zayn pulled away to mouth, “I need to be with you.” 

*

How Niall ended up straddling Zayn, they have no idea.

The kiss turned from sweet and passionate to fiery and hot and oh so dirty as Niall parted his lips to grant entrance to Zayn’s tongue that promptly explored Niall’s mouth like it was a cavern full of treasure and he wasn’t going to leave any stone left unturned. Not that Niall has any stones in his mouth whatsoever. But oh—Zayn definitely has a massive rock down there somewhere.

When they pulled away, Zayn took off Niall’s shirt and latched onto his neck while Niall put his arms around Zayn’s head and moaned. Zayn then moved on to lavish Niall’s naked torso with licks and kisses as he cupped the blonde’s hardened member and squeezed it. “Z-Zayn. Please.”

He ghosted his lips in Niall’s ear and licked its shell. “Tell me, babe. Tell me what you want,” he whispered.

Niall burrowed his head in Zayn’s shoulder as he said, “suck me.”

So Zayn laid him down on the blanket and proceeded to kiss his swollen lips as he unzipped the blonde’s pants. Niall, meanwhile, was trying (and failing) to get Zayn’s shirt off. Zayn took pity on his boyfriend—he stopped his ministrations as he planted his arms on each side of Niall’s head and asked, “Niall, before we get on with any of this, are you? Are we…together like—“

Niall, who took Zayn’s face in his hands, answered, “Yes, Zayn. We’re together. Like boyfriends. Lovers. Partners,” he smiled and added gently, “Now suck me or I’ll get myself off.” 

Zayn grinned at his boyfriend. “Keep your hands off yourself, Niall. I’m fully capable of taking care of you.”

“I’ll take care of your rather pressing problem too,” Niall sad as he squeezed Zayn’s erection, “right after you do me.”

One hour and an orgasm each later, both proved that they can take care of each other. 

37.

“Oy, stop blushing. You totally just gave away what you two did after we left,” Louis teased.  
“It wasn’t that! I mean, we fooled around a little. Not—“  
“Don’t strain yourself. I really don’t want to know. I’m just, you know, happy for you.”  
Zayn flashed Louis a bright smile as he uttered thanks.

Everyone ended up staying at Harry and Louis’ place and in the morning, Zayn woke up without Niall at his side. 

When the smell of pancake hit his nose, he knew his boyfriend must have been lured by it. He put on a shirt and went to the kitchen where Dani and Niall were seated while Liam’s flipping pancakes like a pro. The house owners were nowhere to be found. “Where’s Lou and Haz?” 

“Oh, you’re up,” Niall said the same time Dani answered, “They went to get themselves a cat. Or a kitten.”  
He nodded, went to the percolator and poured himself a cup of joe. When he was done, he sauntered over to where Niall was and dropped a kiss on the blonde’s head. Niall looked up to smile at him and he slid in beside his boyfriend. A few minutes later, Liam slid him some pancakes. “Thanks, Li.”  
“Sure, mate.”

An hour later, Harry and Louis arrived with the former carrying the cutest kitten Zayn has ever seen. Niall and Liam went over to coo at the newest addition to their group and Zayn can’t help but grin at the sight of all his friends. 

END


End file.
